It's been an interesting 2 weeks. Monday 2 weeks ago I was 31 weeks pregnant. Something did not feel right that day. I talked Derrick into staying home & we ran a few errands, re-signed our lease, & spent some time hanging out with Dylan. Derrick probably did some homework. I probably took a nap! That night Derrick had class, so I decided to go to a friend's house. We had dinner, watched The Voice, & just hung out. Part way through the evening I remember mentioning to one of my friends that I had a really bad headache. I assumed I needed some sleep & I would feel better.
That night I went to bed with something that can only be described as a WICKED headache. I tried to sleep, but had really bad sharp pains in my head all night. Needless to say, I did not sleep well & woke up with the same headache I had gone to bed with. Derrick headed off to work & I continued to deal with the headache. Because of my issues with pre-eclampsia with Dylan, I know that headaches that last that long are a bad thing. I eventually texted Derrick to ask his opinion about going in to the doctor. He admitted that the headache probably needed to get checked out, so I scheduled an appointment for that afternoon and off we all went, Dylan included, to the doctor. Of course, I picked the day my doctor was off to get sick - at least he has really great nurse practitioners in his practice. The nurse, then the np took my blood pressure. It was not good either time. I also had protein in my urine. Both of those things are good signs of pre-e. My doctor's office is connected to the hospital. I was wheeled directly from the OB to the labor & delivery triage department.
After sitting in triage for a while, it was apparent that I was not getting released that night. Derrick made arrangements for Dylan to spend the night at our friend Jenny's house (the poor lady didn't realize what she was getting into. She ended up having him for 5 days & nights when all was said & done). They ended up transferring me to the actual labor & delivery area, even though I was not in labor & had no plans of delivering any time soon. They did some tests, monitored the baby, checked my blood pressure, and generally made me crazy all night. The next day Derrick went to work. Jenny brought Dylan up to visit. I hung out really bored. Towards the end of the afternoon my test results came back. That's when things got interesting...
So my doc was working the day after I got admitted. He looked at my blood pressures (which were high, but were better on the meds) & he checked my 24 urine collection test results. He said the protein spillage was not too bad, so I could go home, but that I still needed to come to my appointment the next morning that I had already scheduled. I was so excited. Jenny left Dylan with me & we waited for Derrick to come & get us. The nurse came in & pulled my IV & was getting all my discharge stuff together. Derrick finally got there & we got everything packed up. We were getting ready to walk out to take Dylan to church when the nurse came back in & asked me if I could stay a little longer. Um, no. I have places to be. Apparently "Can you stay a little longer?" wasn't really a question. I was staying longer. I guess that the way the lab gives the results is really confusing. My doc looked at the numbers & thought they were good. The doc that came on after him saw my numbers & realized they were actually really bad. I don't really know all the details of that, but apparently different labs report things differently & it is all really confusing. Standards would probably be really good.
Anyway, I was told that I would be started on magnisum sulfate. I knew that would not be fun. I was on it with Dylan for several days & it is nasty. This time was a little better because I was only on it for 48 hours or so. The thing with the mag is that it is a blessing & a curse. When you are on it, you get lots of sleep. That's the good part. The bad is that you fall asleep a lot. Like in the middle of conversations. Or while the nurse is taking your blood pressure. In the middle of texting family & friends. Just don't plan on staying awake for much because you probably won't. So while it is beneficial for sleeping, it makes it really hard to carry on with normal life when you are asleep 85% of the time.
The next morning we were told it was time. I was wheeled to the OR right about 12:30. It took a lot longer to prep me this time than it did with Dylan. The anesthesiologist had a hard time finding the right spot for my spinal block & ended up sticking me a lot of times. I was kind of a basket case during all that. Once the spinal was in they let Derrick come in. After what felt like a really long time, at 12:56 pm, Andrew Clayton was born. He was 31 weeks, 4 days along. He didn't cry, but he was alert & just taking things in. Once they started messing with him we heard him crying. I don't remember what his APGAR scores were, but I think they were 7 & 8. Derrick was able to cut the cord & go along with him to the NICU while I went to recovery.
Today Andrew is 12 days old. He is doing really well. I am doing okay. I am having a lot more pain in my abdomen than I remember having with Dylan. Maybe I took more pain meds with him? I don't really remember.
As for his name - we really struggled with names. We had a hard time deciding on a name for Dylan & we struggled at least as much this time. I knew I wanted to honor my dad by including his name. My dad was Clayton Lee. Our final 2 names in the running ended up being Nathan Lee & Andrew Clayton. Even after the poor child was born we couldn't decide what to call him. He went at least a full day with no name. The NICU nurse practitioner who was at his delivery said we could name him after her...she's a great lady, but I'm not sure Janet Rae is a good name for a little boy! Eventually it came down to my decision. We ended up naming him Andrew Clayton. Sometimes I still can't decide if that was the right choice, although it's a little late to be changing my mind now!
And now it's late & time for bed. I will be heading to the hospital early in the morning to spend some time with our baby boy. Watch for more Andrew updates to come!
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Things I Used to Think Pregnant Ladies Exaggerated About
So even though this is my third pregnancy, my first one ended in Dylan being delivered at 27 weeks & my second ended in a miscarriage at 8 1/2 weeks. I have never been this far along in a pregnancy before. While that is awesome & a blessing, it is weird to be experiencing all these things that I never did with Dylan.
So here is a list of things I used to think pregnant ladies were exaggerating about - and I am now finding out that for the most part, that is just not true.
#1 - Having to pee all the time: So obviously I know that having a child laying on your bladder will make you have to pee more. I had no idea that it would be all the time (but once you get in there you really don't have to go) or that it would be extremely sudden. But surprise...when that baby kicks you in the bladder, you better find the bathroom!
#2 - The pregnant waddle: I always thought, "Really, ladies? Get it together." Um, now I waddle. Not all the time, but enough. And I totally don't do it on purpose. I will be walking through the house, waddling, & will catch myself. And then I say, "Get it together, Renee!"
#3 - Swollen feet: So with Dylan I had swelling, but it was all over my body & was a symptom of my pre-eclampsia. It wouldn't go away no matter how much water I drank or how long I kept my feet up. They were just always swollen until after I delivered...and even that required meds to push the extra fluid out of my body. So now that I am having "normal" swelling, I am kind of confused by it. I was really, really worried when I went to the doctor last time because my feet were so swollen. He told me that it was completely normal as long as it went away after I put my feet up for a while. And guess what? When you are having a relatively normal pregnancy, the swelling does go away with rest. So several times a day my feet swell up super huge. And then I put them up for a while & it goes away. It is the weirdest thing.
#4 - Insomnia: How can you not sleep if you are so tired from growing a baby? Um, I don't know how it's possible, but it totally is. This kid does not want me to sleep at night. After 4 in the morning & napping in the afternoon is fine, but sleeping at times normal people sleep is out of the question! I did not sleep well last night & chose not to nap today. Now I am completely exhausted. But why go to bed when you can't sleep anyway?
Basically, I am getting schooled on pregnancy! Even so, I am still loving being pregnant...but I am definitely excited to meet this little one in a few weeks.
So what about you? Did you have any preconceptions that turned out to be wrong? I'd love to hear about them!
So here is a list of things I used to think pregnant ladies were exaggerating about - and I am now finding out that for the most part, that is just not true.
#1 - Having to pee all the time: So obviously I know that having a child laying on your bladder will make you have to pee more. I had no idea that it would be all the time (but once you get in there you really don't have to go) or that it would be extremely sudden. But surprise...when that baby kicks you in the bladder, you better find the bathroom!
#2 - The pregnant waddle: I always thought, "Really, ladies? Get it together." Um, now I waddle. Not all the time, but enough. And I totally don't do it on purpose. I will be walking through the house, waddling, & will catch myself. And then I say, "Get it together, Renee!"
#3 - Swollen feet: So with Dylan I had swelling, but it was all over my body & was a symptom of my pre-eclampsia. It wouldn't go away no matter how much water I drank or how long I kept my feet up. They were just always swollen until after I delivered...and even that required meds to push the extra fluid out of my body. So now that I am having "normal" swelling, I am kind of confused by it. I was really, really worried when I went to the doctor last time because my feet were so swollen. He told me that it was completely normal as long as it went away after I put my feet up for a while. And guess what? When you are having a relatively normal pregnancy, the swelling does go away with rest. So several times a day my feet swell up super huge. And then I put them up for a while & it goes away. It is the weirdest thing.
#4 - Insomnia: How can you not sleep if you are so tired from growing a baby? Um, I don't know how it's possible, but it totally is. This kid does not want me to sleep at night. After 4 in the morning & napping in the afternoon is fine, but sleeping at times normal people sleep is out of the question! I did not sleep well last night & chose not to nap today. Now I am completely exhausted. But why go to bed when you can't sleep anyway?
Basically, I am getting schooled on pregnancy! Even so, I am still loving being pregnant...but I am definitely excited to meet this little one in a few weeks.
So what about you? Did you have any preconceptions that turned out to be wrong? I'd love to hear about them!
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Questions
So I'll admit that I am a little new to the blogging world. I mean, I blog & I read other people's, but I don't really understand passing the questions around & what not. I like it, I just don't get it. So Meggan at Meggan's Moments, if I am screwing this up, sorry! I really am not sure what's going on!
1. If you could do one thing differently in your life, what would it be?
I would not have waited so long to have/try to have kids. I really can't figure out what we were waiting for. I always thought I would have my kids when I was young & that they would be really close together. So far that has not been the way things have turned out. It took us quite a while to get pregnant with Dylan & since we stopped using birth control when he was 6 months old, we have not been blessed with any more babies (until now! 30 weeks this week!) We should have trusted God to give us the babies he wanted us to have in the time he wanted us to have them. So far his plan has worked out better than ours would have...
2. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
At home with my little ones, homeschooling. Assisting my husband in ministry (Pastor's wife - Yikes! Colleges don't offer classes on how to do that!)
Yes. I grew up as an only child & Derrick is one of three with a fourth adopted sibling to come along when he was almost an adult. Being with their family is so much fun. Siblings, cousins, aunts & uncles, grandparents. There are so many people in his extended family that if you can't find someone to be around, you are just not trying very hard! I feel like I missed out on that & I want my kids to have those types of relationships.
6. What is one thing you have yet to accomplish that you want to do before you die?
Go to the east coast & visit all the historical stuff there.
Go to Germany & try to track down more info about our families.
8. If you could do anything you wanted right in this very moment (no consequences, no fear, etc), what would it be?
2011 - No question
Most people would assume that it would be 2008, the year that Dylan was born since I had such a rough pregnancy & since he was so early & sick. Derrick & I spent most of Dylan's first 3 months separated because I was staying close to the hospital & Derrick was home working. We saw each other a few days a week for almost 3 months. But I feel like we came out of that much stronger than we went in.
2011 was much worse. We miscarried twice that year. Once in January with a blighted ovum (sac had developed, but no baby). We immediately got pregnant again & lost that baby at 8 weeks, 5 days. We didn't find out until 10 weeks. I was devastated. I had a D&C a week later, just before Easter. I went to church Easter Sunday & hardly held it together. I am sure God understood my feelings, but it was very hard to sing about the hope in Jesus when my precious baby had just been taken from me. A few days after that procedure, we received a call to take a 3 month old, possibly blind, abused, little boy. Looking back, we NEVER should have done that. I was not ready. But we took him anyway. I was not recovering from the D&C well. I was bleeding a lot for a long time & was not in any shape to take care of a toddler & a special needs infant. One day we had to take the boys to the doctor & Derrick had to meet me there when he got off work. I made him drive the boys home because I was losing so much blood that I thought I might pass out driving the car. I ended up being fine, but overall, my physical recovery was very slow.
My emotional healing was even slower. I was depressed. There is no way to get around it. I missed my baby. I was trying to handle a toddler & an infant while still working part time. There were days that I only got out of bed because the babies needed me. Baby A had a ton of appointments due to all the trauma he had been through. And through everything we had going on, I could not figure out how to share my feelings with anyone, including Derrick or my BFF Amy. I was a mess inside, but didn't know how to tell anyone that. Derrick seemed to have worked through the situation & didn't mention it much. Honestly, we never really talked much about it at all. So I went MONTHS without sharing with anyone. I threw around the idea of seeing a counselor. We even got the information from the insurance company about who I could see. So I guess Derrick had some idea that I was struggling, but I don't think he understood where I was at or what he could do about it.
One night we were laying in bed & Derrick was already asleep. I thought to myself that I could just leave. I was done. I didn't want to be there any more. I didn't want to continue to deal with the marriage. I couldn't do it. I had 2 major problems that kept me from leaving. Number one was that I knew I couldn't leave the kids. As much as it broke my heart (and still does when I look back at it), at the time, I totally could have walked away from the marriage. I really was that depressed & overwhelmed. But I knew I couldn't leave those boys. Dylan was mine & we were the first bit of stability that Baby A had had in his life. I just knew leaving them wasn't okay. Problem number 2 was that anyone I went to would have sent me straight back home. (Okay, they may have let me spend the rest of the night, but I would have been plopped back on my own doorstep the next morning). Thankfully my friends & family wouldn't have let me walk out on my marriage. So thanks friends and family!
That night as I was laying there, trying to decide what to do, I burst into tears. Derrick woke up & held me. I sobbed. Poor guy had no idea what was going on. When I finally calmed down enough to talk, there were a lot of issues that came out...but none of them were the true issue. Eventually, in the midst of an argument that was really stupid, I remember blurting out, "I miss my baby." And then I sobbed some more. And that is what began to heal our marriage. For the first time in months, I was able to share my heart with my husband the way that I should have been at the beginning. He had no idea that I was still struggling so much. He was able to walk through the healing with me. The pain is still there sometimes, but I know that I can talk to him about it & he will help me any way he can.
Later that year we decided to make a major move in order for Derrick to get back into school for pastoral ministries. We moved in February 2012. We never would have been able to both get on the same page regarding the move had those lines of communication not been opened back up.
Through the time that we were going through everything, this song touched my heart (read: made me cry while driving down the road).
Mandisa - "Stronger"
10. Summarize yourself in one word. Still-learning (the hyphen makes it one word, right?)
And now I think you are supposed to link to my blog or leave your blog link or something & answer these questions on your blog...maybe? Anyway, have fun!
1. If you could do one thing differently in your life, what would it be?
I would not have waited so long to have/try to have kids. I really can't figure out what we were waiting for. I always thought I would have my kids when I was young & that they would be really close together. So far that has not been the way things have turned out. It took us quite a while to get pregnant with Dylan & since we stopped using birth control when he was 6 months old, we have not been blessed with any more babies (until now! 30 weeks this week!) We should have trusted God to give us the babies he wanted us to have in the time he wanted us to have them. So far his plan has worked out better than ours would have...
2. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
At home with my little ones, homeschooling. Assisting my husband in ministry (Pastor's wife - Yikes! Colleges don't offer classes on how to do that!)
3. Do you honestly want [more] kids?
Yes. I grew up as an only child & Derrick is one of three with a fourth adopted sibling to come along when he was almost an adult. Being with their family is so much fun. Siblings, cousins, aunts & uncles, grandparents. There are so many people in his extended family that if you can't find someone to be around, you are just not trying very hard! I feel like I missed out on that & I want my kids to have those types of relationships.
4. What has been the best moment of your life so far?
Marrying my best friend. The day I met him I felt God say to me, "That's the one." I was 14 & dating someone else at the time. Who hears that kind of thing from God at 14? I think God told me because I tend to be a little impulsive & he didn't want me to do something stupid between then & when God spoke to Derrick about it. Patience is not my strong suit.
Watching our wedding video makes me melt into a puddle every time. We were so in love (and young! I was 19, Derrick was 22). We were so ready to take on the world & I am so proud to say that, although we have struggled at times, we will celebrate our 9th anniversary this month.
5. What is your life theme song?
That's a hard one. I don't know that I really have one. Mine seems to change based on what's going on in my life. I like a lot of different music, so maybe jut music in general? I think my life theme song is really just whatever is speaking to my heart at the moment.
6. What is one thing you have yet to accomplish that you want to do before you die?
Go to the east coast & visit all the historical stuff there.
Go to Germany & try to track down more info about our families.
7. If you could choose one thing to be known for, what would it be?
Being a woman of God & a prayer warrior for the needs of others.
8. If you could do anything you wanted right in this very moment (no consequences, no fear, etc), what would it be?
Move to a bigger place & adopt several little ones
Go to Iowa & visit
9. What has been the most challenging moment in your life?
Most people would assume that it would be 2008, the year that Dylan was born since I had such a rough pregnancy & since he was so early & sick. Derrick & I spent most of Dylan's first 3 months separated because I was staying close to the hospital & Derrick was home working. We saw each other a few days a week for almost 3 months. But I feel like we came out of that much stronger than we went in.
2011 was much worse. We miscarried twice that year. Once in January with a blighted ovum (sac had developed, but no baby). We immediately got pregnant again & lost that baby at 8 weeks, 5 days. We didn't find out until 10 weeks. I was devastated. I had a D&C a week later, just before Easter. I went to church Easter Sunday & hardly held it together. I am sure God understood my feelings, but it was very hard to sing about the hope in Jesus when my precious baby had just been taken from me. A few days after that procedure, we received a call to take a 3 month old, possibly blind, abused, little boy. Looking back, we NEVER should have done that. I was not ready. But we took him anyway. I was not recovering from the D&C well. I was bleeding a lot for a long time & was not in any shape to take care of a toddler & a special needs infant. One day we had to take the boys to the doctor & Derrick had to meet me there when he got off work. I made him drive the boys home because I was losing so much blood that I thought I might pass out driving the car. I ended up being fine, but overall, my physical recovery was very slow.
My emotional healing was even slower. I was depressed. There is no way to get around it. I missed my baby. I was trying to handle a toddler & an infant while still working part time. There were days that I only got out of bed because the babies needed me. Baby A had a ton of appointments due to all the trauma he had been through. And through everything we had going on, I could not figure out how to share my feelings with anyone, including Derrick or my BFF Amy. I was a mess inside, but didn't know how to tell anyone that. Derrick seemed to have worked through the situation & didn't mention it much. Honestly, we never really talked much about it at all. So I went MONTHS without sharing with anyone. I threw around the idea of seeing a counselor. We even got the information from the insurance company about who I could see. So I guess Derrick had some idea that I was struggling, but I don't think he understood where I was at or what he could do about it.
One night we were laying in bed & Derrick was already asleep. I thought to myself that I could just leave. I was done. I didn't want to be there any more. I didn't want to continue to deal with the marriage. I couldn't do it. I had 2 major problems that kept me from leaving. Number one was that I knew I couldn't leave the kids. As much as it broke my heart (and still does when I look back at it), at the time, I totally could have walked away from the marriage. I really was that depressed & overwhelmed. But I knew I couldn't leave those boys. Dylan was mine & we were the first bit of stability that Baby A had had in his life. I just knew leaving them wasn't okay. Problem number 2 was that anyone I went to would have sent me straight back home. (Okay, they may have let me spend the rest of the night, but I would have been plopped back on my own doorstep the next morning). Thankfully my friends & family wouldn't have let me walk out on my marriage. So thanks friends and family!
That night as I was laying there, trying to decide what to do, I burst into tears. Derrick woke up & held me. I sobbed. Poor guy had no idea what was going on. When I finally calmed down enough to talk, there were a lot of issues that came out...but none of them were the true issue. Eventually, in the midst of an argument that was really stupid, I remember blurting out, "I miss my baby." And then I sobbed some more. And that is what began to heal our marriage. For the first time in months, I was able to share my heart with my husband the way that I should have been at the beginning. He had no idea that I was still struggling so much. He was able to walk through the healing with me. The pain is still there sometimes, but I know that I can talk to him about it & he will help me any way he can.
Later that year we decided to make a major move in order for Derrick to get back into school for pastoral ministries. We moved in February 2012. We never would have been able to both get on the same page regarding the move had those lines of communication not been opened back up.
Through the time that we were going through everything, this song touched my heart (read: made me cry while driving down the road).
Mandisa - "Stronger"
10. Summarize yourself in one word. Still-learning (the hyphen makes it one word, right?)
And now I think you are supposed to link to my blog or leave your blog link or something & answer these questions on your blog...maybe? Anyway, have fun!
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