Foster Care: Myths About Children in Care

A lot of people have misconceptions about children who are in the foster care system. Today, I am going to try to address some of those myths.

*As in any job, there are bad eggs in social work! Most social workers are fantastic, but not all. Just like teachers, doctors, pastors, etc. You wouldn't think people would take on a very stressful job & so many hours without enjoying the job, but for some reason they do!*

Children are in care because they are bad kids - I would call this myth more of a half truth. Most kids in foster care come in because of choices on their parents' end. These kids just end up suffering the consequences of their parents' choices. Now, that does not mean that kids will not have behavior problems. It is unlikely that a child will come into a foster home without some damage. By the time they enter foster care they have likely lived a very chaotic life. They will have behavior issues - it is your job as a foster parent to help them walk through those issues & advocate for the help they need to reach their full potential.
* There are kids who enter foster care because of their behavior. They may have gotten involved in drugs, may have an unplanned pregnancy, may have major behavior or mental health issues, may have issues with their parents. In these cases, sometimes the parents have asked to have the child removed from their home & sometimes the state decides that there are too many issues at home & the child needs to be removed. These children/youths are usually not placed in a family foster care situation (which is what we do). They are placed in either a treatment facility or treatment home. The workers in those situations have much more training than we do!

Children are removed from their families for no reason - Between Iowa & North Dakota, we have 12 kids come into our home through the foster care system. Every one of those children were removed due to either drugs, severe neglect, or abuse. I will give some brief details of some of our Iowa kids (of things I can share)

• B & J were our first kids. They were 6 & 7 & had been in the foster care system for years by the time we got them, due to severe neglect & educational neglect, mostly. Their parents didn't really ever make an attempt to improve the situation at home. The boys ended up being adopted.
• Baby D was a baby who's mom chose to put him in temporary foster care so she could get her drug addiction under control. He was placed with us for 90 days & on day 90 we took him back to his mom. As far as I know things are going well & he has been with his parents ever since.

• A was brought to us from the hospital at 3 months old after suffering tremendous injuries from being shaken. His mom went to jail & he was adopted by a fantastic family!
• D was with us due to medical neglect. He had a lot of special needs (so much so that he had a private nurse with him for about 8 hours a day) & his family was not willing to give him the care he needed, including skipping meds & doctors appointments. He was only with us a couple weeks. I am not sure what happened to him after he left our home. 

All of these kids were removed for very real reasons. Social workers had been in these homes before & had given these parents MANY chances to get their acts together. DHS does not just go in & remove children on a whim. On to my next point...

Removals - DHS can remove children whenever they want to - I'll call this another half truth. DHS/the county can remove kids if they feel that a child is in danger. That said, they can only retain custody for 72 hours without a court order. So this is what happens

• The social worker gets a call from the police department & heads to the scene. 
• The social worker evaluates the situation.
• Are the children in immediate danger?
• Can the issues be resolved in the home?
• What safeguards can be put in place in order to keep the children with their family? 
• If the children are okay, then the worker makes a plan with the family & sets up follow-ups to make sure things are going okay. 
• If the children are not safe or the situation cannot be defused, the social worker, along with law enforcement, removes the children & places them in a temporary foster home. 
• After the children are removed, DHS has 72 hours to get the case heard by a judge. The judge determines if the removal was appropriate. 
• If he feels like it wasn't needed, then he will order the children returned home. The children go back home & there will often be a safety plan put in place with the family so there isn't another situation like this. 
• If it was appropriate, then he will give a new custody timeline - depending on the age of the child & the situation, this is usually 6 months to 1 year. This does NOT mean that a child will be out of the home for that long! This just gives time for the family to meet the goals that DHS puts in place. If the family reaches those goals & shows improvement, the children can return home. DHS will still stay involved with them until the court-ordered custody is over. 
• If the family is showing progress, but hasn't reached enough goals yet, the custody can be extended to give them more time to keep working. 

Removals - Children are removed & never get to go back home - Of the 12 kids that we have had in care, we know what happened to 11 of them after they left our home. Only 3 have not returned home & one sibling set was moved to a family member's home, but I foresee those kids returning home in the near future. Here is the truth of the matter:

• DHS does not want to separate families! Social workers know that it is not good to keep moving children. It is better, in general, to keep them in their family & work with the family at home as a whole. They do everything they can to keep families together!
• DHS does not want to fill up foster homes unnecessarily. They want to leave foster homes open for children who really are in danger & need a safe place to be. Also, good foster parents don't want children removed from good families! 
• DHS workers are too busy to make more work for themselves. They aren't going to remove kids unless they have to. They definitely don't need more things to do for no reason! If they fill up foster homes, then it costs the state more money & makes foster families unavailable for when children who really need a safe place (foster families get reimbursements for caring for kids in foster care. Here is a tongue & cheek article about that: http://thefosterlife.com/2015/02/19/i-foster-for-the-money/ )

I hope that clears up a few of the misconceptions about children in the foster care system. If you have any more questions or things you'd like me to address, please let me know! I would love to share more with you!