Long Overdue Update

I have been kind of avoiding writing this post. It has been a rough few months for me & I wasn't sure that I was willing to share what's been going on. But, then I remembered that I want to be honest on this blog & that maybe my trials will help someone else to have the freedom to talk about what it going on in their lives.

In October, I had another miscarriage. Very few people actually know that it happened. This was miscarriage #4. Everything seemed to be going so well with the pregnancy - lots of nausea, lots of fatigue. I was doing all the things I should have been doing, including taking a supplement to help the placenta grow. One day I started spotting & things when downhill from there. I saw my doctor & we did an ultrasound. Just as I've had in the past, there was a sac, but no baby. We planned to repeat the ultrasound in a couple weeks to see if I was just not as far along as we thought. Before the next scheduled appointment, I miscarried at home. We went in to confirm that my uterus was empty & it was, so we headed home with expected, but very sad news.

It was very hard to make it through those few weeks surrounding the miscarriage. Trying to carry on like all was okay & normal when it very much wasn't. Trying to care for my boys & household while feeling awful, both physically & emotionally. Working at the church in the nursery & with the kids. It was painful to even be there. Several friends has little babies & I couldn't bring myself to hold those sweet babies that I had been so excited about just weeks before. My heart was absolutely broken because my baby was taken away.

Unless you have had a miscarriage, you don't really understand. When my dear best friend miscarried before I had any little ones, I didn't know what to say to her. I was super sad for her, but I had no idea what she was going through. Now I have had 4, so I know painfully well what she was feeling. You find out you are pregnant & are so excited...you have dreams & plans for this baby. Is it a boy or a girl? What will we name it? Who will it look like? Who will this baby grow up to be? And then, in an instant, all those dreams are ripped away as your body, created to protect this growing life, fails, & you are left to make sense of it. Having struggled to get pregnant with both boys, but also experiencing miscarriages - I'd rather just not get pregnant than get my hopes up.

We hope & pray to have more little ones in our home. We don't know if they will be biological, adopted, foster. Dylan asks almost daily for a baby sister. Maybe that will happen one day. We are working through our foster care applications & classes. I check adoptions sites several times a day. I have been advocating for several little ones and their (soon-to-be) families because even if I can't bring those little ones home, they still need a family. At this point we are just trying to trust that God has a plan bigger than us & that we just don't understand it yet. I take comfort in knowing that one day in heaven I will understand the plan God has been working out through our lives.

Crochet Project

Starting today, I am running a fundraiser for a fantastic family! Kami & Chris are adopting a sweet girl from eastern Europe & I want to see her get home!

Throughout December, 25% of all proceeds from crochet orders will go to benefit their adoption! I am super excited to see how much money we can raise! If you don't need anything crocheted, you can still donate to their fund at http://reecesrainbow.org/76470/sponsorladybug

Here are some examples of what I can do. All orders are custom made unless otherwise indicated, so please contact me if there is something you would like but don't see on my page. I will be taking orders & getting them out as quickly as I can, but I may need to stop orders if I get too many...I hope I can reach the "too many" limit! (Local orders can be picked up or delivered. Non-local orders will have a $2 shipping charge.)

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10151876311376031.1073741826.515621030&type=1&l=f25e8243a2

Please contact me with any questions! Thank you for all your support! You are making a difference for a real little girl on the other side of the world & her family is so grateful!

What's With All The Orphan Talk?

So I am sure some of you are wondering why the subject of orphans has been coming up from me so much recently. I have always had a heart for children, especially those who had a rough life. I think I learned that from my mom. She worked at different schools when I was growing up & she always developed relationships with those "hard to love" kids - the ones who were always in trouble & causing a ruckus.

When I was in high school I worked at an after school program at an elementary school. Many of the kids grew up in homes at or below the poverty level, didn't have appropriate amounts of supervision, & were generally just trouble. I just loved them. I loved being able to love on them while they were at the program & I wanted to be a person they could trust when so many people around them were just not that trustworthy. That job was probably my favorite job I've ever had & I've had some pretty decent jobs!

So back to orphans...why are they so important to me? Here's the deal: Most of these orphans have no one to love them...not even a high school junior who could do very little for their situation. Many of the orphans have special needs - spina bifida, HIV positive, cerebral palsy, limb differences, down syndrome - & they were abandoned by their parents because they either couldn't, or didn't want to, raise a child that needed extra care. Many of these kids are abandoned because it is shameful to have a child who isn't perfect. It's just a sad, sad situation.

So the kids grow up in an orphanage, with no Mama & Daddy to love them. If they aren't adopted, they either die in an orphanage or institution, or they age out of the orphanage & are released out into the world with no guidance, and just waiting to be victims of slave traders or sex traffickers. I look at the sweet little faces of children who are available for adoption & wonder how we can let that happen to them. I've decided that I can't. I can't sit by & take care of my boys & live my comfortable life & then turn my back on these little ones who have no one. As a Christian & a human being, I can't continue to pretend this kind of thing isn't happening.

I can't adopt right now, but I can make a difference for these kids. Here are some families I'd love to be able to make a difference for! They are each adopting at least one child internationally & are rescuing those kids from a lifetime of heartache!

 Ladybug & her family: I shared about them on Friday. Awesome family. I can't wait to see them bring their sweet little girl home.  http://learningfromthefruitofthespirit.blogspot.com/2014/11/ladybug.html?showComment=1416843973789#c3942118155656667187

 Lenny & the Nap family: The Naps are adopting a deaf, preteen boy from China. They have several children, but they SAW Lenny and are so excited to bring him home!  http://reecesrainbow.org/76385/sponsornap http://www.napclan.com/

The next 2 are a little bittersweet for me. They both include sweet little girls that we were very interested in, but were just unable to make a commitment to. I am so excited that they both have families & I can't wait to see them growing as I follow their families blogs.

 Alda & the Bowling family: Sweet Alda has cerebral palsy...and she's adorable! The Bowling family is a large family, so I know these little ones are going to have tons of love! Her parents are traveling TODAY to meet their new family members! http://reecesrainbow.org/?s=bowling   http://thebowlingfamilyadopts.blogspot.com/

  Kitt & the Davis family: Adorable little Kitt! How could you not just want to scoop her up?! Her family travels in December to meet her. They have a ton of adoption experience, but are really struggling right now. I would love to be able to encourage them & help them get their sweet little ones home soon! http://reecesrainbow.org/76036/sponsordavis-7   http://bringinghomealittleangel.blogspot.com/

If you can, show these families some love by making a donation to their adoption fund. Even if you can't donate, I'd love to have you share this post & pray for these families. They are doing a fantastic thing & I want them to feel loved and encouraged throughout this process. I can't wait to see pictures of them all home with their families!

Ladybug

So I haven't blogged much lately. Honestly, life has been very overwhelming & I haven't quite known how to put it into words. Maybe I will soon. But today I want to share about something that has been on my heart & that I do know how to put into words.

This is my friend Kami & her family. Kami & I met in a Facebook group & then realized we lived kind of near each other (about 90 minutes apart), so we met up. She is one of the sweetest people I've ever met. Her little girls are adorable & while I've never met her husband, I'm sure he's fantastic, too.



Kami & I connected as Christian mamas, but also as mamas who were looking into pursuing an international adoption. For us, that international adoption is just not possible at this time, but for Kami & her family, it is. The fact that I can't go snatch up one of those sweet babies from a life in a crib or institution (or worse) breaks my heart. But while I can't physically rescue one of those little ones, I can sure help out those who can.

Kami & Chris are adopting Ladybug (not her real name). I can't show you her picture right now, but I can tell you - she is CUTE! She has an adorable sweet face... pretty brown hair...big gorgeous eyes! She is an orphan with special needs in Eastern Europe, but hopefully not for long! Kami & her family are in the process of adopting her! They are hoping to travel to meet her in early spring, but they need to get funding together first.

See, here's the thing: Most families who want to adopt would have no problem providing for the extra child or children they are planning to adopt. The issue comes with all the fees associated with the adoption. Many international adoptions cost between $20,000 & $30,000. There are fees for homestudies, background checks, travel expenses, agency costs, orphanage "donations" & on & on. It costs so much to bring these kids home.

As time goes on I'll be sharing more about Kami & Chris's adoption, but for now, I'll leave you with this: I want to see this little girl come home. Doesn't she deserve to have a family of her own? To have a Daddy to snuggle her, a Mama to care for her, sisters to play with? I think she does & I want to help. So I am sending a plea to you, readers, to make a donation to her adoption. You can donate at http://reecesrainbow.org/?s=ladybug Even if you are not able to donate, I know the family would appreciate your prayers through this process. Pray that Ladybug will be safe & feel God's love surround her. Pray that Kami & Chris can get through the piles of paperwork quickly so they can travel soon. Pray that the adoption will be approved by Ladybug's country. Pray that this family will soon be all together.

I appreciate your love & support for this family! Let's get this sweet girl home as soon as possible!

Where We're At In Our Adoption Journey

We have so many adoption options come across our paths the past few month, but for one reason or another, none of them have panned out. After much discussion, we have made a decision...

We are applying to be foster parents here in Colorado. As we looked into adopting, there were many kids who we couldn't even inquire about without a home study done. Along with that, we don't currently carry insurance that could cover a child joining our family through an international adoption. International adoption is still very much on my heart & we are hoping to still pursue it sometime in the future. But for now, we will follow God's leading back to foster care & possibly adoption from foster care. 

In order to be licensed as foster parents, we have 4 more classes to take this month & 2 to take in October. We also have to get our home study done & do a CPR & First Aid class. I am very much hoping that we will be licenses & ready to go by the beginning of November.

As I am looking at kids who need families, I am finding that most of the kids are either older or part of a sibling group. At this point we are not comfortable taking children older than Dylan (we would consider it, but it would have to be the right child). I am feeling very drawn to sibling groups, but we will see who we get calls about!

This update was written over several days & sittings, so it feels a little disjointed. Tonight we are headed to one of our classes. We are excited! As things go on, I will continue to give updates...hopefully a little more often & in one sitting!

Thank you so much for all of your support & love for our family! We appreciate all of it!

Adoption Update

I've had several people ask me how the adoption situation is going, so I decided I should give an update.

Right after I posted my last blog regarding how awesome all of you are in helping us out with the funding for the adoption, I emailed the agency worker to get a couple of specifics cleared up. I received a reply not long after. The little girl we were hoping to adopt has a family already filling papers to get her. That information has been heartbreaking to me. I am so thrilled that she will have a family, but so sad that it will not be us.

So where does that put us? I've been sitting on this information for a week because the truth is, I don't really know. We are still looking into adoption. There are several other little girls & sibling groups that we are considering. There is a chance that one of the girls we were considering in the first place would come available again (it's rare, but I've seen it happen. Sometimes something happens & the family has to back out of the adoption). We've also considered some kids through a domestic adoption or possibly going back to doing foster care. We just feel very unsure now. We are praying through it & hoping God will very specifically point us where to go.

I am very much leaning towards continuing with an international adoption. As much as I know there are children in the USA with no parents who need go homes, the situations in other countries are so much worse. Babies & children with disabilities are left in cribs for hours or days to cry with no stimulation & no love. They are fed as quickly as possible & are changed very rarely. Some children, especially those with mental delays, are abused & mistreated because they are delayed. And even if the children are in an orphanage that treats them well, they are still in an orphanage. No Mama or Daddy to tuck them in at night. No one to hold them when they are scared. No one to love them. I look at my 2 little boys and I cannot imagine them growing up with no real love.

I understand that kids in the USA foster system do not have it easy. They are often shuffled from home to home, split up from siblings, changing rules, schools, friends. We were foster parents. We saw it. And I know that not all foster parents are great. But as a foster parent, we loved on our foster kids. We snuggled them when they were sick or scared. We helped them learn & do homework. We encouraged them, bandaged their cuts, took them to the doctor, gave them plenty of food to eat. We LOVED those kids, even though they were not ours, and all the other foster families I know were the same. Loving, stand-in families for kids who did not have parents or whose parents could not care for them for a period of time.

I lean towards international adoptions because most of those kids won't ever have a chance to be a part of a family. Many of them will grow up in orphanages...if they are lucky. In many countries disabled children are sent to mental institutions between 5 & 7 years old. Down syndrome, cerebral palsy, spina bifida. All things that are managed here, land kids there in institutions for the rest of their lives.

Look at this sweet little girl. I've seen other pictures & she is just a doll! Grows up in an orphanage & still has a smile like that! And she might be headed to an institution? Really? Angelica

This little boy is in an area that has just currently closed to US adoptions. How sweet is he? I am hoping the area reopens soon & someone can get him out. Ernie

And this adorable little thing. I'd love to go scoop her up right now! Francine

And these 4. Oh my. I don't think you could get much cuter. Their special needs are minimal, but there are 4 of them. Getting them adopted together is going to be an issue. I told Derrick that if we had the space & met the income requirements, I would be all about bringing these little ones home.

So that is where we are at. Praying & looking & deciding where to head next. And here's where the awkward part comes in. If you have donated to us & would like to have the money returned (seeing that we are kind of on hold at the moment), I totally understand. Just let me know - it is currently being saved separate from our regular money, so we can get it back to you if you want it. If you allow us to hold it until we are able to find another child or children to adopt, we would be so grateful! I am personally still pushing forward as if there is an adoption of the horizon because who knows? There could be!

Again, we appreciate your love, support, & prayers as we work through all of this.

Blessed!

You guys...I am not even sure what to say. I was nervous about sharing our adoption plans with the world because I didn't know what the response would be. I am so thankful and grateful to say that the responses haven't only been positive, they have been overwhelmingly supportive. 

Thank you, thank you, thank you for all of your messages, phone calls, & discussions with us about what we are doing. I definitely did not expect so much interest in what we are doing. We are so blessed by the love that has been shown to our family and to the little girl we are praying to one day call ours. You have no idea what a difference it will make in her life if we can get her home quickly. 

Because of all of your support & a large donation from a fantastic group of girlfriends, we have raised almost $1100 this weekend. I was talking to my friend Jenny last night when I got word of the large donation...I just kept telling her, "I don't know what to do with this." I hoped, but never in a million years imagined, that we would have so many people caring about what we are doing. We are so BLESSED! 

So this week I am sending out some things I have sold, I am working on hats, and we are checking into insurances that can cover our family. I am also working on starting to sell things on ebay & to get things ready for our yard sale at the church this fall.. Tomorrow I have an appointment in Denver with a rheumatologist who will hopefully give me some meds to help with my arthritis & my psoriasis. 

Again, thank you so much for your support! We appreciate everything you guys are doing to help us get this little girl home!