Adoption Update

I've had several people ask me how the adoption situation is going, so I decided I should give an update.

Right after I posted my last blog regarding how awesome all of you are in helping us out with the funding for the adoption, I emailed the agency worker to get a couple of specifics cleared up. I received a reply not long after. The little girl we were hoping to adopt has a family already filling papers to get her. That information has been heartbreaking to me. I am so thrilled that she will have a family, but so sad that it will not be us.

So where does that put us? I've been sitting on this information for a week because the truth is, I don't really know. We are still looking into adoption. There are several other little girls & sibling groups that we are considering. There is a chance that one of the girls we were considering in the first place would come available again (it's rare, but I've seen it happen. Sometimes something happens & the family has to back out of the adoption). We've also considered some kids through a domestic adoption or possibly going back to doing foster care. We just feel very unsure now. We are praying through it & hoping God will very specifically point us where to go.

I am very much leaning towards continuing with an international adoption. As much as I know there are children in the USA with no parents who need go homes, the situations in other countries are so much worse. Babies & children with disabilities are left in cribs for hours or days to cry with no stimulation & no love. They are fed as quickly as possible & are changed very rarely. Some children, especially those with mental delays, are abused & mistreated because they are delayed. And even if the children are in an orphanage that treats them well, they are still in an orphanage. No Mama or Daddy to tuck them in at night. No one to hold them when they are scared. No one to love them. I look at my 2 little boys and I cannot imagine them growing up with no real love.

I understand that kids in the USA foster system do not have it easy. They are often shuffled from home to home, split up from siblings, changing rules, schools, friends. We were foster parents. We saw it. And I know that not all foster parents are great. But as a foster parent, we loved on our foster kids. We snuggled them when they were sick or scared. We helped them learn & do homework. We encouraged them, bandaged their cuts, took them to the doctor, gave them plenty of food to eat. We LOVED those kids, even though they were not ours, and all the other foster families I know were the same. Loving, stand-in families for kids who did not have parents or whose parents could not care for them for a period of time.

I lean towards international adoptions because most of those kids won't ever have a chance to be a part of a family. Many of them will grow up in orphanages...if they are lucky. In many countries disabled children are sent to mental institutions between 5 & 7 years old. Down syndrome, cerebral palsy, spina bifida. All things that are managed here, land kids there in institutions for the rest of their lives.

Look at this sweet little girl. I've seen other pictures & she is just a doll! Grows up in an orphanage & still has a smile like that! And she might be headed to an institution? Really? Angelica

This little boy is in an area that has just currently closed to US adoptions. How sweet is he? I am hoping the area reopens soon & someone can get him out. Ernie

And this adorable little thing. I'd love to go scoop her up right now! Francine

And these 4. Oh my. I don't think you could get much cuter. Their special needs are minimal, but there are 4 of them. Getting them adopted together is going to be an issue. I told Derrick that if we had the space & met the income requirements, I would be all about bringing these little ones home.

So that is where we are at. Praying & looking & deciding where to head next. And here's where the awkward part comes in. If you have donated to us & would like to have the money returned (seeing that we are kind of on hold at the moment), I totally understand. Just let me know - it is currently being saved separate from our regular money, so we can get it back to you if you want it. If you allow us to hold it until we are able to find another child or children to adopt, we would be so grateful! I am personally still pushing forward as if there is an adoption of the horizon because who knows? There could be!

Again, we appreciate your love, support, & prayers as we work through all of this.

Blessed!

You guys...I am not even sure what to say. I was nervous about sharing our adoption plans with the world because I didn't know what the response would be. I am so thankful and grateful to say that the responses haven't only been positive, they have been overwhelmingly supportive. 

Thank you, thank you, thank you for all of your messages, phone calls, & discussions with us about what we are doing. I definitely did not expect so much interest in what we are doing. We are so blessed by the love that has been shown to our family and to the little girl we are praying to one day call ours. You have no idea what a difference it will make in her life if we can get her home quickly. 

Because of all of your support & a large donation from a fantastic group of girlfriends, we have raised almost $1100 this weekend. I was talking to my friend Jenny last night when I got word of the large donation...I just kept telling her, "I don't know what to do with this." I hoped, but never in a million years imagined, that we would have so many people caring about what we are doing. We are so BLESSED! 

So this week I am sending out some things I have sold, I am working on hats, and we are checking into insurances that can cover our family. I am also working on starting to sell things on ebay & to get things ready for our yard sale at the church this fall.. Tomorrow I have an appointment in Denver with a rheumatologist who will hopefully give me some meds to help with my arthritis & my psoriasis. 

Again, thank you so much for your support! We appreciate everything you guys are doing to help us get this little girl home!

Hoping to Grow Our Family!

About a week ago I asked for prayer concerning a big decision Derrick & I needed to make. Thank you so much for lifting us up as we worked through some things. Now is the time that we are ready to share about the decision we were working on.

Several months ago a friend shared with me that her family was in the process of adopting a little girl. She gave me the website so I could see the little girl they are working to adopt. Listed on the site were many other kids with different special needs from all over the world. And that's where the "trouble" started. I fell in love with 2 little girls, both almost 5 years old & both coming available for adoption in late 2014. I talked to Derrick about it & we decided to pray about what God wanted us to do. As we were praying about the girls, I kept checking their pages on the website. One afternoon I got a notification...one little girl had a family committed to adopt her. To me, that was the answer. I all of the sudden felt very strongly that we needed to adopt the other little girl. I talked to Derrick & he agreed with me. We feel like we can offer this sweet girl something she has never had...a loving family.

Right now there are a few major needs to make this happen:

1. We need prayer! We know that if God wants this to happen, it will happen. Continue to pray with us, please.
2. We need insurance that will cover her as soon as the adoption is final. No one can probably help with this (if you can or know how, let me know!), so we would appreciate your prayers for this situation. Again, if God wants us to have her, this detail will work out. 
3. We need MONEY! International adoptions are expensive! In total, this adoption will cost around $25,000. That sounds huge, and it is, but again, we are trusting God to come through.

So here's the deal: I can't say much about this little girl until we are actually committed to her. And while we have a lot of love to share, we don't have the large amount of money needed to actually adopt her. To start the process, we need $5,000. We have about $1000 saved right now. We will be doing fundraisers as time goes on, but right now to bring in extra funds for the adoption, we have several things going on.

• I am making & selling crocheted hats. I currently can make Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ($15 each), penguins, yellow minions, Minnie Mouse, & Mickey Mouse (all $20 each). I custom make all of them & am willing to try to make different hats if you have any ideas! I am also willing to make other crocheted items if I have the knowledge & abilities to do so!
• We are selling several items, including a stroller/carseat/base combo & some Avon I have left over from when I sold it. I am doing some babysitting, & Derrick is willing to do tech support/computer work for a donation to our adoption fund. 
• I am looking into taking items to a flea market to clear out some space & to earn some money. We will also be participating in our church's yard sale in September. 
• We are brainstorming other fundraiser ideas. Any suggestions would be very much appreciated. 
• We are accepting donations. We don't like asking for money, but we know we can't do this alone! Donations can be sent through PayPal to djsindt@gmail.com (select friends/family in order to save us the PayPal fees!) or cash & checks would also be gratefully & thankfully accepted. If you would be able to donate, please send Derrick or I a message on facebook, an email, a text message, or give us a call. 

Once we are able to pay the upfront fees & are officially committed to this little girl, I will be able to share her picture. I can't wait to be able to show her to you! Please help us as we move forward to add this sweet girl to our family!

Andrew is 1!

Poor second child. He turned 1 on May ninth & I am just now getting around to blogging about him.

There is a reason it has taken me so long to write about Andrew...it is because he is a wild man. He is the type of child that if he was your first, you would wonder if you really want any more. I am more exhausted now than I think I have ever been. We have experience with 2 kids - we had 2 foster boys before Dylan was born, then we had 2 different little boys while Dylan was little, so we know how to handle 2...Andrew is just difficult.

Andrew is a constant ball of movement & energy. He never stops & rarely slows down. He is a man on a mission. Unfortunately, his "mission" usually involves destroying something or getting into something he shouldn't. If he's not getting into the dog food, he's trying to play in the toilet or garbage. If not one of those, he is finding paper or small toys to try to eat. He torments our poor dog, bangs on the tv, hangs on everyone's legs, & whines. If he's not whining, he's yelling very loudly. 

He is 13 months old & still doesn't sleep through the night. He is up at least once to eat & sometimes another time because he can't seem to find his own paci in the night. He wants to be bounced and patted to sleep. He also seems to be teething a lot (he currently has 5 teeth), so there is a lot of whining going on at our house just due to that. 

We've been doing this since he came home from the hospital almost a year ago...we are exhausted. We keep hoping that maybe he will outgrow some of his "difficultness." I kept thinking, "When he sits, then..." or "When he crawls, then..." That has not been the case. The crawling has just resulted in him being able to be underfoot faster & makes him a lot quicker to get to things he shouldn't have. 

And while I say all that, I can't imagine what things would be like without him. He is a good snuggler. He gives sweet (sloppy!) baby kisses & pats your back when you pick him up. Dylan loves him & Andrew ADORES Dylan. They are such fun buddies. Andrew has quite the way with the people & is a big charmer & flirt. He is definitely good at being the adorable baby. He's pretty cute, which is helpful when you are also a big stinker. 

We have been working with Andrew on words & signs, hoping that some communication will help curb the constant screaming that he insists on right now. So far, this is where we are:

Words Andrew knows:
- Bye-bye
- Casey (Day-see)

- Baba (Bottle)

- Bubby or something similar (Refers to Dylan - we call him brother a lot)

- Dada & Mama (used, but rarely. I'm still not convinced he knows that I am Mama)

- Signs "all done" "more" "hi" "bye-bye"

We are working on signing eat, thank you, & milk. 

So now, at the end of this blog posting, I wonder what to make of all of it. We love Andrew, but his personality is a little much sometimes. He is wonderfully sweet...unless he's trying to bite your legs like a baby chihuahua. He's fun...until that fun shows up at 5 am. He's cute...except when he's screaming constantly. 

I have seen a marked improvement in his communication over the last few weeks & I am hoping that will make a difference in him. He is getting better about playing with toys instead of just crying for someone to hold him all the time. I have to keep reminding myself that he's only 13 months old. He will outgrow most of this stuff quick enough & will be a huge 5 year old like Dylan is. It's just hard to remember that when you are in the midst of sleepless nights & overwhelmingly long days, teething & spit-up, diapers & laundry. 

Mamas with young kids: You are doing great. Keep pushing through & loving those little ones, even when it's hard. Remember that with God's help, you can get through those hard days!

Mamas with grown kids: Encourage a young mama today. Not "They grow so fast! You'll miss all of this when they are grown!" That is probably very true, but in the middle of it, not always so helpful. Something more like, "You are doing a great job!" or "Keep up the good work!" or even a hug with a "You can do this!" We Mamas of young kids need all the encouragement we can get! 

10th Anniversary

As I sat and thought about how it's been 10 years since I got married, I am not really sure what to think. I'm excited and happy that it's been 10 years, but I just thought things would be different. I thought we'd be a lot more settled, more "adult-like." But instead, here we are, Derrick back in school, us living in an apartment, far away from family & friends we've been around our whole lives. I thought we'd get to head off on some big trip to celebrate this milestone, because 10 years is a LONG time in today's culture. Running errands, eating Sonic corn dogs, & wrestling kids to eat their dinner & go to bed was not how I pictured my 10th anniversary.

But maybe that's okay. Maybe it shows how normal my life is that on my 10th anniversary, I am at home blogging while my husband puts away laundry. The honest truth is that while I am disappointed that there is no big trip in our future, I should be thrilled to be able to celebrate this special day with the man who has held my heart since I was 14 years old.

Homecoming 2001

Wedding - May 22, 2004

When we started dating when I was 16, I think we both knew it was serious. We weren't dating for fun - we were dating in preparation for something that would last. We got engaged after dating for a year. I was 17 and we were engaged for 2 years. Derrick was away at college for part of the that time, and I was away for a different part. It was hard to be apart, but I think it helped us to figure out if we really wanted to do this. After a 2 year engagement, we were married on a stormy, then sunny, Saturday. It is funny to look back at wedding pictures now. We were so young, but so in love! Derrick was 22 and I was 19. So many things I have read says that many marriages fail before 8 years and that if you are young when you get married, the chances of divorce are even higher than normal. In the same way we approached dating as leading to marriage, we approached marriage as leading to forever. We took (take?) "until death shall part us" very seriously. That doesn't mean that there haven't been struggles.

Dylan - January 2011

When we first got married we were both in college and both worked off & on during the next 3 years until we both graduated in 2007. That was a lot of stress on a young married couple. Then we decided we wanted kids...it took us 2 years to get pregnant with Dylan, a pregnancy that ended with both of us fighting for our lives in the hospital in October 2008 . That pregnancy was followed by 2 miscarriages in early 2011. In my opinion, 2011 was the year our marriage almost fell apart. I was carrying so many left over emotions from the miscarriages that I was having a hard time putting the effort into our marriage that I should have. Put on top of that a toddler & a special needs foster infant & it was a recipe for disaster. I was ready to walk away from the marriage. I was done. Luckily, I have a wonderful, loving husband who was willing to patiently walk though my issues with me. He never once made me feel bad about my feelings. He simply helped guide me back to being able to re-focus on our family.

In late 2011 we made the decision that we would be moving to Colorado Springs in early 2012 for Derrick to go back to school for pastoral ministries. Even though it was one of the hardest things we have ever done, it was the very best thing we could have done for our family at that time. We needed to regroup...start over. Derrick and I needed to learn how to rely on each other again.

Andrew in the NICU - 2013

The past 2 years in Colorado have been some of the hardest times we have ever been through. We wanted to learn to rely on each other, but you don't realize how much family and friends do for you until you don't have any close by. Derrick started a new job and has classes at least once a week. Since moving to Colorado, we have missed several graduations, babies born, family birthdays, & the death of Derrick's
Grandpa Kakert. We also experienced the birth of our second NICU baby. We have parented our 2 little boys for over a year without consistent family help (although we do have great friends here). We have learned how much our parents helped us out. It has been hard.

It has also been the best. We have learned how God provides, even when you can't figure it out. We have worked together and been strong for each other. We have supported each other "in sickness and in health." We have grown stronger together. I have no idea what I would do without Derrick.

We have received several anniversary cards over the last few days. I love and appreciate all of them. But the one my mom sent really stuck out to me. I don't remember the whole card, but part of it says "now that you've been married a decade..." What? A decade? Wow...a decade is a long time! And here we are, entering our second decade, wondering what God has in store for us next. Derrick graduating next May? A job as a pastor? More little ones to fill our quiver (Psalm 127:4-5)? All things we want, but are willing to allow God to lead us into in His time. So I guess I don't know what the coming years will bring...but God does. And together, with God's help, I know that Derrick and I will weather whatever storms come our way.

Dylan Quotes - March 2014

"Maybe we can use those avocados to make bwacamole." (3-1-2014)

Sometimes having a 5 year old who reads makes life interesting. While taking a bath, Dylan said, "Why does this soap say, 'Keep out of reach of children'?" If that was a ploy to get out of washing himself, it didn't work. (3-1-2014)

"Look, there is another book called, ' Dr. Meow's Big 'mergency.'" (3-1-14)

Derrick & Dylan were talking about someone having surgery. Derrick told Dylan that the doctors would cut the person open & go in to fix stuff up. Dylan wanted to know how they were going to go in. He assumed "go in" meant the entire doctor was going in, not just his hands & some tools. (3-9-14)

While watching Dora, we learned that Dora says "con permiso" when she needs to get by someone. When I asked Dylan what he thought it meant, he said, "Please get out of the way." Um, kind of, but it would be nice to be a little more polite.

Dylan & I were talking about him growing up. I said, "and now you are a big 5 year old. How did that happen?" He replied, "Because I keep having birthdays." (3-22-14)

"Why did you took your boots off?" - said to a little girl he was playing with at the park (3-26-14)

Dylan Quotes

The other day I told Dylan to go get dressed. He said, "I'll do it as fast as a sandwich!" I don't know how fast a sandwich is, but I'm guessing it's pretty fast?

For dinner the other night we went to Culver's. Dylan said, "I love ice cream. And brother. And God! I love God because he made brother in your belly." When I asked Dylan where he came from (because he was being so silly), he said, "Your belly! And maybe Daddy."

"It's a seesaw! I always stay down & Geekie always says up!" - I think that misses the point of the seesaw...

"Dad, put your hands behind my back..." Dylan wanting Derrick to put his cold hands on his back.

Dylan likes to tell jokes. His current favorite is "How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it!" Andrew finds this hilarious. The other day Dylan was telling Andrew the joke. He said, "Andrew, how do you make a tissue dance?" And almost on cue, Andrew sneezed all over him! Guess he knows the answer to that joke now! (January 2014)

Today we were out for a walk & Dylan said, "I like having a mom like you." Um, I think my heart just melted & exploded at the same time. (February 18, 2014)