My Dad

My dad, my mom, & me. 1989

Tonight I went to dinner with Dylan. He has been feeling a little neglected since Andrew has been sick & he really needed some one on one attention. As we were eating dinner, this conversation happened:

Dylan: "Do people still hunt buffaloes the same as they did in the old times? Like with a club?
Me: "No, people probably use a gun if they are hunting buffalo, just like if they are hunting deer..."
Dylan: "Or bears!"
Me: "Yes, I suppose if you were hunting bears, you would use a gun."
Dylan: "Did Grandpa Pete hunt bears?"
Me: "No, Dylan, Grandpa Pete did not hunt bears. He didn't go hunting."

This led to a discussion about what Grandpa Pete did like to do. Grandpa Pete is my dad. He was actually Clayton Lee, which is where Andrew gets his middle name, but he was nicknamed Pete. He liked to golf. And work on cars. He liked to spend time with his friends. He watched Murder, She Wrote. He had black hair & a black mustache. He worked hard, often at 2 jobs. He loved me. He was a good dad. He died when I was 8 years old.

I honestly don't remember much about my dad and that breaks my heart. I have vague memories of certain times with him, but I just don't remember much. I was so young when he died...it's been over 22 years.

My brother, my mom, my dad, & me. 1990.

As I talked to Dylan about my dad tonight, I had to work to keep it together. I was almost in tears several times. My boys have no memories of my dad - not even ones they just think they remember because of the pictures. My husband never met my dad. I like to think that he would have been so pleased with my choice of spouse. I know he would have been a fantastic grandpa & would have adored these 2 little boys.

I am so thankful that my boys still have so many grandparents. 4 grandparents & 4 great-grandparents. There were 2 more great-grandparents living when Dylan was born - they have just passed away in the last few years. But it is hard to know that my boys will never know MY dad. That they will never be able to snuggle on his lap & talk to him about his life. So I will work to keep his memory alive through what I know about him - through pictures and things my mom has saved of his to one day pass on to my boys. I hope that I will be able to convey to them what a great man he was & how much he would have loved to be with them.

Pete Rehder's Obituary