Christmas Update

Wow, it has been a long time since I updated last time!

It is now after Christmas & I just keep thinking about how Dylan isn't even supposed to be here yet. He is such a fighter & he is truly our “Best Present Ever,” just like the shirt my best friend Amy got for him says. We are thrilled that he was with us this Christmas & even though we spent this Christmas in the hospital, we are so happy that he is here. 

Since my last update, Dylan has been transferred to Davenport. Besides the bottle feeding issue & being on oxygen, there was no reason he had to be in Iowa City. I came & toured the NICU at Genesis & realized that the people here could give him the care he needed. I toured the NICU on Monday the 15th & we moved on Wednesday the 17th. It has been nice to get home. I can take care of things around the house & we are finally starting to get things ready to bring Dylan home. Hopefully we will finish his room soon! The weather has not been so cooperative regarding the move. In IC I was driven back & forth to the hospital by the staff or volunteers at Ronald McDonald house or Derrick was around to drive me places. Here I am driving myself & I am not really much of a fan of winter driving. It seems like all it has done since we moved back is snow or sleet! 

Dylan is still not tolerating the bottle very well. He has recently been cut back to only 2 or 3 bottles a day because the dr. thinks Dylan is developing an “oral aversion.” I get really frustrated about the drs. though because as far as I know, none of them has ever actually seen Dylan eat. I can usually get him to eat pretty well for me. It is just hard to have people who don't know you or your baby telling what to do all the time. Derrick & I have decided that we will play their game & feed Dylan when they tell us & in the position they tell us & hopefully we'll be out of here soon & we can do things more our way. 

Dylan is now on only 25% oxygen (21% is room air) & if he continues to do well, he should be off the oxygen sometime soon! So far he is doing very well. We were sure he was going to come home on oxygen, so we are excited that he might not have to. The only bad thing is that we won't be getting the apnea monitor. The apnea monitor would be nice because it would alert us if he stopped breathing, cutting down the chance of him dying from SIDS. 

I am extremely tired. I think I am just overwhelmed by everything right now. We have been at this for a long time & it is starting to really wear on me. Dylan is 83 days old today, so we have been doing this for almost 3 months. I trust that God is taking care of us, but it is hard to stay continually “up” when things are going the way they are. I have always told myself that I am going to be honest in what I post here because I want others to know that feelings are normal. I am not always happy & encouraged, even though I know God is helping Dylan. I don't know if it's the holiday or the fact that no one really understands what we are going through, but I can feel myself starting to shut down. I so much want things to just be normal & they aren't. All I have ever wanted is to grow up, get married & be a mommy to my kids. I am doing that, but it is just not the way I expected. I want to be able to take my baby places & visit with my friends & do all the things that normal stay at home moms do. Even once Dylan comes home we won't be able to do much because of his respiratory problems. I am just feeling kind of down & lonely this week. I know that sometime we will look back & realize that this has only been a short period in our lives, but right now it just feels like an eternity. 

Hopefully my next update will be more full of happiness & things, but right now I am just relying on God to bring us through this time. 

I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas & that you took time to remember why we celebrate Christmas. It isn't about Santa & presents. It is about the birth of God's Son who gave his life for our sins. 

Have a great day & I will try to update again soon.

~Renee