This was given to me by one of the social workers here at the U of I NICU when I was really down one day. The first 10 were written by Jane Simone & the rest I am not sure. But I enjoyed it & thought some of you might, too (especially if you have ever had a little one in the NICU). I hope you enjoy it!
1. Going to a hospital makes you homesick
2. You have to fight the steering wheel to keep the vehicle from driving itself to the hospital
3. Every time you run the blender on “pulse” your milk lets down
4. You don’t know how to care for an umbilical cord
5. You hold your Yorkie puppy & it reminds you of kangarooing your child (except the puppy is bigger!)
6. None of the “What to Expect…” books REALLY told you what to expect
7. Your friends think you have an obsessive compulsive disorder because you are constantly washing your hands
8. You become excited when you can carry your baby from room to room (with no attachments)
9. You have the NICU’s phone number in memory speed dial or 3 months after your child comes home, you go to call a friend & call the NICU by accident
10. They have to call in heavy equipment to transport your child’s medical chart
Additional suggestions for knowing you have a baby in the Children’s Newborn ICU
11. A pregnant NICU nurse has her baby, is home on maternity leave, & returns to work during your baby’s hospitalization
12. You look for a “prox card” to open a door at home or wave it in front of a car door
13. Term babies look absolutely HUGE to you when others are commenting on how little they are
14. Kangaroo, wallaby, & giraffe are no longer just animal names
15. Your sense of time’s passage starts to focus on the 3 week doctor rotations rather than which month it is
16. When watching the “financial reports” station on TV, the graphs look like vital signs on a bedside monitor
17. The woman in the grocery store line asks if you are a physician after she hears you giving your husband a baby update on your cell phone
18. You find it easier to describe your child’s weight with a 2 lb. bag of M&M’s
19. You challenge yourself to find a piece of Disney trivia not known by Dr. Jirka
20. The cafeteria has no more surprises for you
21. You question whether you should feel guilty or grateful that you are sleeping through the night (if not pumping, of course)
22. You hope your baby isn’t teething by the time you get to breastfeed
23. As frightening as the monitor looked when you first saw it, you have some uncertainty about giving it up at discharge
24. You & your baby need caffeine in the morning
25. The seasons (& your wardrobe) have changed 2 to 3 times while your baby has been in the hospital
26. When you look at the weights of food items in the grocery store, you compare whether it is more or less that what your baby weighs
27. You can see your toes at your “due date”
28. You walk away from the sink at home expecting the water to turn off by itself. (We won’t talk about the self-flushing toilets!)
29. You can critique the accuracy of medical language on TV shows
30. Your dog at home looks at you as if you are a stranger
31. Carnival roller coasters no longer have any appeal to you after being on the NICU emotional roller coaster that doesn’t seem to stop!
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